I’m so depressed…..
Got my results today…. I passed… but I got B- only…. B- is considered fail in phase 1!!! There are 2 people got A but they are in different posting. In Internal Med, 3 ppl got B+, 3 ppl got B so B- is just the average. Prof Cheong is said to be very nice, the most lenient lecturer… The other 2 students who under him got B+ and I got B- only. So you can imagine how I did in the exam…. But I can never change the history again. Regret didn’t study, but later I think even I studied, I still couldn’t answer his questions. Jealous those who don’t really study but can do well in exam… Why can’t I be like one of them?
I really wanna do well in my exam, couldn’t imagine if my parents got my results, how will they response? I think I disappointed them. Sometimes I think I am spending too much money in studying medicine. RM30,5000 per semester… Those who don’t understand will think I am very rich la… But now I am just struggling for my life… Have to worry about my tuition fees…
Got scolded by Dr. Loh today. I was elected to be the discipline leader of the Family Medicine posting. So I gotta take attendance and control the discipline of the group. And today, there were 4 students late for his class and Bax and me kena scolded. People never attend class I also kena scold. People ponteng class I kena scold again. People don’t adhere to dress code, I kena scold also. Why is he putting so much pressure on me? Staff Nurse Khairun told me today, Dr. Loh is very particular about discipline, so I am very important. If there is anyone in our batch has some discipline problem, Dr. Loh will discipline-trained me. And she actually went through the test, and it was very ‘menakutkan’. I don’t understand, if the student got discipline problem, train him/her la, why train me? I think I am quite self-discipline but I really dunno how to make others to be more discipline. All these gotta depend on the attitude of individual. If he can’t control himself, how can other people control him? If Dr. Loh gonna train me like that….erm…NO! HE WON’T!! So you guys better take care of your discipline, if not... you won’t be seeing me in this world anymore, I would be tortured by Dr. Loh till death….
In the 1st few weeks of Internal Med, I thought I was coping well. But now, I just feel like hiding myself from this world. I dun like Seremban, but I dun like to stay back in PJ either. I wanna go to some where else without all these trouble. Just give me some break!!! I miss my phase 1 friends, my college friends and my high school friends. There is no1 I can talk to here in Seremban. No1 has similar interest as me…. I just can’t click with them… Every1 is so different here compared to phase 1, I couldn’t describe…I just feel different… or maybe I am the one who being so naïve and innocent… Never ever trust any1 easily, k??
I wanna go sing K again. That day I was not satisfied enough. I was sick couldn’t sing the songs I wanna sing and I dunno what songs to choose. Now I realize I got a lot of songs wanna sing…. But I am broke!!! Btw, quite fed up of Seremban food. Everyday gotta think what to eat, can’t I just have a pill which I will become full after eating it? Seremban food is so so so expensive!!!
Ok.. Don’t worry… I’ll be fine… just wanna express all my feelings… dun wanna put it all in my heart!!!
5 comments:
gal, what happened to your chatterbox??
haha, n pls check ur hotmail ^^
Hey there, feel so sad while reading ur entry. life is full of ups and downs and it so happens that u r at the down point right now. dun worry too much, just remember that better days are coming.
miss u so much la. take care ok?
First thing, tell those who didn't come to come and be on-time, and explain your situation. If they don't want to come, tell me their names, and I will call them. And if you can't stand Dr. Loh, just tell him right off his face since it is not your fault. (can try it in your dreams, very stress-releasing..haha) Seriously, just said that you have told them, and he wants to nag, just let him nag, he must be very stressful too..haha
Second, there are people who are clever and study smarter. But not everyone is that type, I'm also not that type. So we had to study everything, and study hard. Don't be sad that what you study didn't come out. Whatever you study will be yours, no one will take away what we have learnt. And for those questions that you don't know, well, find out the answers and remember it. Don't be too harsh on yourself. Afterall, it's your first exam, and you will have the chance to make admends for the next internal medicine round. You have done well in phase I, I'm sure you can do as well or better in phase II too.
Sing K no problem. As long you are back, we can go sing K. Since school holidays is around the corner, there will be discounts. We can always go to endah parade too. Haha..
Anyway, if you want someone to talk to. You can always contact me. Or go bax's house to online and we all chat together lor.
munny,
chatterbox was inactivated..so i just removed it long time ago...checked the mail de...thnx!!
annegel,
thnx so much..i think u r the only 1 who noe all the prob...i miss u too...
jinyu,
thnx so much..gal...i really miss all of u...coz i really dunno who can i talk to in seremban...
Dr. Loh stuff..i can handle la...just tat he keep asking me question and i dunno how to answer...i dunno what he expect from me...he said i m too passive. he will give up soon, i think...haha...cant always go and kacau baxter ma...he need to study also...
btw,thnx gals...i just wanna relive some stress by blogging...thnx for caring...
hey, really understand how u feel at the moment. i miss M1/04 too, phase two is really different.. but cheer up ok..
take care, n keep in touch ya.. dun worry so much abt ur results, jus do ur best =)
Post a Comment