见帅哥

今天搭火车回芙蓉时，在KL Central KTM 遇见两个帅哥。真的很帅噢！是“鬼佬” ！然后我们搭同一辆车。在车上，我就想，他们在哪一个站下车？结果竟然跟我同一站，在芙蓉下车。整个路程，我就一直望着他们两个。哈哈！蛮养眼的！可是我好像被发现了，因为其中一个也一直看着我看着他。他们讲着一些我听不懂的话，所以我不知道他们是哪里来的。他们干嘛来马来西亚呢？哈哈，不要怪我太无聊，因为我实在太久没见过帅哥了！

I’m so depressed…..

Got my results today…. I passed… but I got B- only…. B- is considered fail in phase 1!!! There are 2 people got A but they are in different posting. In Internal Med, 3 ppl got B+, 3 ppl got B so B- is just the average. Prof Cheong is said to be very nice, the most lenient lecturer… The other 2 students who under him got B+ and I got B- only. So you can imagine how I did in the exam…. But I can never change the history again. Regret didn’t study, but later I think even I studied, I still couldn’t answer his questions. Jealous those who don’t really study but can do well in exam… Why can’t I be like one of them?

I really wanna do well in my exam, couldn’t imagine if my parents got my results, how will they response? I think I disappointed them. Sometimes I think I am spending too much money in studying medicine. RM30,5000 per semester… Those who don’t understand will think I am very rich la… But now I am just struggling for my life… Have to worry about my tuition fees…

Got scolded by Dr. Loh today. I was elected to be the discipline leader of the Family Medicine posting. So I gotta take attendance and control the discipline of the group. And today, there were 4 students late for his class and Bax and me kena scolded. People never attend class I also kena scold. People ponteng class I kena scold again. People don’t adhere to dress code, I kena scold also. Why is he putting so much pressure on me? Staff Nurse Khairun told me today, Dr. Loh is very particular about discipline, so I am very important. If there is anyone in our batch has some discipline problem, Dr. Loh will discipline-trained me. And she actually went through the test, and it was very ‘menakutkan’. I don’t understand, if the student got discipline problem, train him/her la, why train me? I think I am quite self-discipline but I really dunno how to make others to be more discipline. All these gotta depend on the attitude of individual. If he can’t control himself, how can other people control him? If Dr. Loh gonna train me like that….erm…NO! HE WON’T!! So you guys better take care of your discipline, if not... you won’t be seeing me in this world anymore, I would be tortured by Dr. Loh till death….

In the 1st few weeks of Internal Med, I thought I was coping well. But now, I just feel like hiding myself from this world. I dun like Seremban, but I dun like to stay back in PJ either. I wanna go to some where else without all these trouble. Just give me some break!!! I miss my phase 1 friends, my college friends and my high school friends. There is no1 I can talk to here in Seremban. No1 has similar interest as me…. I just can’t click with them… Every1 is so different here compared to phase 1, I couldn’t describe…I just feel different… or maybe I am the one who being so naïve and innocent… Never ever trust any1 easily, k??

I wanna go sing K again. That day I was not satisfied enough. I was sick couldn’t sing the songs I wanna sing and I dunno what songs to choose. Now I realize I got a lot of songs wanna sing…. But I am broke!!! Btw, quite fed up of Seremban food. Everyday gotta think what to eat, can’t I just have a pill which I will become full after eating it? Seremban food is so so so expensive!!!

Ok.. Don’t worry… I’ll be fine… just wanna express all my feelings… dun wanna put it all in my heart!!!

{Movies} World Trade Center & Stormbreaker

Recently watched movie: WTC and Stormbreaker

1) WTC
Watched it with Racine, Baxter, Michelle Chong, Yee Heng, Brandon and Ling Wei in Terminal 1. I think it's been quite a long time that I didn't watch movie in the cinema. Let me think... my last movie in cinema should be... erm... I can't remember!!! OK.... this proved that I long time didn't watch movie already.

Usually I only watched movie that I looking forward long. But I did't expected to watch this movie b4. Actually I didn't know about this movie at first, I kinda lost track to the world ady. Actually Racine suggested to watch "The Silk", but Baxter doesn't want to watch that (because he scare? haha...) Actually I felt like watching "The Silk" too coz I never watch horror movie in the cinema.

No much expectation, but I think it's quite touching. I cried...

2) Stormbreaker
Watched it with Baxter, Sofie, Wat, Fairus and Ronald. It was after our exam, me and bax were doing nothing in the library and Sofie called bax and asked us to go for a movie. We went to Jusco. We didn't plan to watch which moovie yet and there were only 4 movies showing. "Open season", "Stormbreaker" and 2 other Malay movies. So we decided to watch "Stormbreaker" coz ronald and bax didn't wanna watch open season.

The hero was so cute...ermm... what's his name de?? Alex sumthing....he is 16 yo now...haih.. too young for me la....haha....

However I missed the front part for these 2 movies...I dun like missing any part of the movie. I always enter the cinema earlier and enjoy watching the trailers....

p/s: still can't remember wat movie I watched b4 the WTC. Gubra?? Gotta check back my blog.... mayb I wrote it in my blog...

很失落...

很失落... 每次在很兴奋之后，就会觉得很失落...

昨天去唱K，很开心，因为已经大概有４个月没唱了。可是，我已经很落后了，完全不知道现在流行什么歌。按那个新歌推介，１０首没有１首是会的。唉！其实并不是说没时间去update自己，只是没有管道，没有电视机，没有收音机，没有streamyx...

开心，因为考完试了！过后也很失落。书没读完，就这样去考。后悔... 很后悔！一定要努力，发生那么多事，如果我还这样下去，真的很对不起家人...

很烦！烦CFCS的事... 要迁就很多人，烦！为什我是leader？多了很多不必要的麻烦，花了很多不必要的钱... 要省！要省！为什么钱不会从天空掉下来？

一直是很单纯地相信任何人。可是年纪越大，看到越多人性的丑陋。开始不相信任何人，不要轻易相信人... 因为人是最可怕的动物。

Finished exam!!

Ok... I found I did something stupid!! I was checking my blog whenever I posted something and there were never be any replies. I was wondering why.... until just now. I actually changed some of the settings to moderate the comments. Actually I didn't know what's it mean by "moderate comment", I just click "yes" and thus the comments weren't appearing... Sorry guys... but I've changed back the settings....

Today is my last day of Internal Medicine Posting. Erm... actually is tomorrow. I've just finished my long case exam which was supposed to be tomorrow initially. Was damn stressed b4 the exam. I just got to know the exam was changed to today when I asked Prof Cheong yesterday. And... the MO didn't want to give us any tips... I haven't finished studying... I haven't been practising a lot in the wards...regret that been so relaxed for the whole 7 weeks and during the Hari Raya break.

However the exam was not that scary as I thought. Maybe Prof CHeong was too busy today. He had to take Sem 9 and Sem 6 for exam, and also Sem 5 for CP. So he took Sem 9 1st, and Sem 6 later. I think he was rushing, until Sem 6's turn, he became a bit 'chin chai', never ask us to perform PE in front of him and only asked about the investigations. But I couldn't answer quite a lot of questions he asked, and he kept hinting me and I was so thick-headed. He asked me about the physiology stuff which I never bothered to revise. Ya.. I admit... I've not been studying enough! However, at the end, he said, "It's enoough for semester 6." I guessed he said I passed? Or he was trying to comfort me?

Actually I cheated also. I missed the pleural effusion. I percuss the right lower zone of the chest, it was dull and I thought it was the liver dullness. Then I didn't bothered about it. But later during the ward round, Dr. Cheah presented the case to Dato' Kew, then I only found out there was plueral effusion in that patient. I looked at the BHT (wonder why you can look at the BHT during the exam), and there was reduced air entry. So I did another full Respi examination again. I think the patient was quite annoyed coz he was so quite lethargic but I kept disturbing him. But what to do? I was so nervous!!

Come back to the cheating thing, actually it's very easy to cheat in the exam. You can bring books...only for sem 6. You can ask your friend to help you out by looking the BHT. You can ask the HO for the case before the exam. For me, the BHT was just beside me. So how could I don't look at it? (When I was writing this, I was hoping that no lecturers will read my blog..)

Anyway, everything's ended now. But I still gotta do my case report and case summaries, gotta submit by tomorrow. Oh.. ya!! Also gotta write some commnets about Internal Medicine for Prof Esha. I think I finished all that 1st, then only I will summarize my Internal Medicine Posting.